Hello there.
As you can see, some changes have been made to the blog. One, background changes. Two, my name. Anyway, that's irrelevant. Or is it? I suppose so. So, what shall we write about today? I've already covered sarcasm, obviously covered randomness, gone through cliffhangers, burnt pass narratives, and done the boring stuff. Which leaves us with one thing. A sad story. Well, I wouldn't say sad. Maybe a little sad, but more reflective in nature really.
About eleven years ago, yours truly stepped into the magical world of education. It was an amazing time, filled with unicorns and human spiders. Eventually, I grew up, as you can see. No longer was I a child, but I became a root vegetable. Not really. Anyway, fast forward to tonight. I sit here, tapping away, but for what reason? Nothing particular to say the least. It's just that for a moment there I felt a little melancholic that I might never be in school for the rest of my life come next year. But who cares? This is taking a very odd turn. Let's head somewhere else.
Have you ever wondered what would happen if superheroes weren't superheroes? If the events that made them superheroes followed the laws of logic? This was inspired by a few people who I will not name for fear of over-inflating their already over-inflated egos. No offense, guys.
Let's start off with the obvious culprit. Spiderman. What if, the magical radioactive spider had done nothing? Where would he be? Would he still be nerdy Peter Parker, still a loser? Of course not.
He'd be dead.
Moving on, Batman. Bruce Wayne lost his parents and became a magical ninja. What if things had turned out the other way? What if the murder of his parents had not compelled him to become a man of the dark? Simple. He'd be the rich junkie that brings a small knife everywhere he goes and calls it "protection".
Sooner rather than later, he'd be dead.
Next up, Captain America. What if America's favorite superhero wasn't s super? Would he end up dead as well, after enlisting in the army to fight the Nazis? Would people find a scrawny soldier dead in a trench next to the rifle he couldn't lift? Obviously not. He'd be at home, unable to even join the army because of his size. Eventually, he'd die by suicide because of not being able to serve his country.
Yep, he'd be dead.
Our fourth superhero to go under the microscope is Superman. This one is an easy one. Dead because of the horrible rocket crash? Nope. Dead because he survived a horrible rocket crash without anyone noticing? Nope.
He doesn't exist.
Our final candidate: The Incredible Hulk. Overexposure to gamma radiation?
He'd be dead.
