The sun shone down strongly on that bright summer afternoon, illuminating and heating everything in sight. Leaves were dried to a crisp, pools and ponds all dried up, and suntan lotion had never been more in demand. People dared not to go outside for fear of being singed by just the tiniest ray of sunlight. Indoors, people either splurged on air-conditioning, or lazed around in baths consisting completely of human sweat. People died just from sweating. And yet, in the midst of all the suffering and strife that was faced by the people, there was a man, a man so comfortable in his mobile home.
The A/C in his home was turned on full blast, transforming the home from a sauna into an igloo. The man sat lazily in his deck chair and stared aimlessly at the idiot box. His favorite program was on, and it showed, well mainly people being hammered by other people. Oh, how he loved it. He felt no pity for the poor sods who suffered just meters away from his house in their own houses. In fact, he felt that they had received their just desserts. However, all this lazing was taking a toll on him. He felt that he should do something productive.
An idea plopped into his mind like and egg plopping into the sea. Let's change the channel. Let's watch something new! He grinned to himself and reached forward to take the remote. Inches away, his hand stopped. It was as if he had come up against an invisible electric fence. Pain sizzled up and down his arm, sending hurt jolting through his arm every time he tried to move it. Unaccustomed to such pain, a fat tear rolled down his cheek. He slowly moved the other arm round and used it to inspect his injured arm. Apparently, it was a cramp. He massaged it slowly, willing the strength to come back to his hand.
Finally feeling ready, he extended his arm again. Only millimeters away now, when another tragedy hit him. It was the wrong remote. He cast his eyes around frantically for the correct one, his heart rate climbing up and up and up. Finally he found it. A low cry of relief escaped from his lips. Salvation was near. Twisting his arm around, he zeroed in on his target and moved in for the kill. Yes, it was there for the taking. Ever so slowly, his fingers extended to their full elgth and wrapped themselves around the remote. Almost there...
Even so, at this late stage in the game, Fate would not allow him to win. With one last almighty push, Fate rolled the dice for him again and yet again, his dice showed SNAKE EYES.
The post was followed by an inscription done very meticulously that read...
O magnum. Stercus non mi exi me. Auxilium!
THE END
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